


Silent Observance

by ignorantfish



Series: Eyes Wide Open [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, only rated t bc mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8465842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignorantfish/pseuds/ignorantfish
Summary: Rafael lets Sonny see a part of him that no one else has. *tw: mentions of self-harm





	

Maybe Rafael should have warned Sonny. Maybe he should have told him what to expect, what he was going to see. And maybe Rafael even wanted to, but he's always been bad at talking about his feelings. So, when Sonny wants to fuck him with the lights on, when he whispers how he wants to see all of Rafael, how he doesn't want Rafael to hide from him anymore, when Sonny reaches up to pull back the curtains, Rafael just takes a deep breath and lets him. Because maybe Rafael doesn't want to hide from him anymore either. 

Sonny probably doesn't know the right thing to do, but at least he doesn't hesitate. At least he doesn't stop. He's not scared. Sonny doesn't know the story but for once, he doesn't ask. For once, Sonny doesn't say anything at all, maybe because he can see how much Rafael needs silence or maybe because he's not as much of an insensitive asshole as everyone makes him out to be. There's a question in his eyes when he looks up, but when it's met with the rawness in Rafael's, Sonny just lowers his eyelids and leans in for a kiss. A kiss so slow and gentle it makes Rafael's heart ache. 

Sonny pulls back and Rafael tries to turn his head away but Sonny centers it again. Damn Sonny for making him look, and damn Sonny for making him feel. Because the look in Sonny's eyes is so earnest, so steady, that Rafael's chest hurts. No one has ever really looked at him before. 

But Sonny does. Sonny looks right at him. And Rafael wonders what he sees, because he's not backing away. Sonny's eyes aren't offering him pity or disgust, either. They're offering him compassion, and Rafael is choking up. 

Sonny finally breaks the moment and slides down Rafael's body. Sonny looks back up at Rafael as if to ask permission, and Rafael just nods. Words are out of the question right now. Because Sonny doesn't pretend not to notice the scars. Sonny just brushes scratchy, calloused thumbs over the lines crisscrossing Rafael's hips. He traces them one by one, first with his fingertips and then with his lips. Sonny doesn’t get to finish honoring all the scars, though, because Rafael tugs on his hair. Sonny looks up and Rafael is crying. Sonny is alarmed until Rafael pulls him into a kiss, and then Sonny is crying too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first time posting my writing so please- I'm thirsty for feedback (even though this is short). I wanna know what you think!! I welcome criticism, like really really tell me what you think: writing style, content, whatever. everything is on the table. 
> 
> Also, I know this is probably OOC, especially for barba, but idk this was more of a "this is therapeutic for me to write" thing than a true blue headcannon. thanks xxo


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